What I REALLY Want For My Birthday

Why, yes, I'd love for Erin Andrews to be gift-wrapped. You know, if that's her thing, of course.

Inspired by Jeff's post at The Big Dead Sidebar, here is a list of things I would like for my birthday in addition to what Jeff mentioned. Hope it's not too late.

1. A date with Erin Andrews. Will settle for Megan Fox, Reese Witherspoon, Jessica Alba, Meagan Good, Scarlett Johansson, Eva Mendes or Erin Andrews' hot sister.
2. A Cubs win. Because they can't lose to Ross Ohlendorf and Virgil Vazquez on back-to-back nights, right?
3. An advance copy of Jay-Z's next album.
4. Kanye, Jay-Z and Drake on one track.
5. An announcement by Lil' Wayne in which he retires from using the autotune.
   
6. A 1-day studio session with T-Pain in which I use the autotune to produce my own CD.
   
7. An announcement from Mariah Carey's publicist that she is divorcing Nick Cannon and heading to Carbondale, Ill., to get away from it all.
   
8. For SIU to use their final remaining scholarship on 6-10 forward Roscoe Davis.
   
9. A time machine, so I can have Lindsay Lohan (circa Mean Girls) all to myself.
   
10. Carrie Underwood and Taylor Swift jumping out of a cake to sing me happy birthday.